Insomnia {The Worst Pregnancy Symptom Ever}

Over all... this pregnancy has been so different than the last. I know they say each one is different... and I really only have one other to compare it to, but... still, it's been different. 

For one: The first trimester was way worse this time around than the last time around! I had rough bouts with LuLu but... this boy has literally thrown me for a loop (already!) I was pretty much nauseous 24/7 and threw up more than I did with Lucy... 

Nothing like that special moment when you are driving and know you are about to throw up and can do nothing to stop it and you are not able to pull over and... I'll just stop there. 
These moments are precious. 
hashtag: notheyarenot
Of course... only in pregnancy can a moment like that be immediately followed by a bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant craving that must be fulfilled immediately. 
What is up with pregnancy? strange times, folks. 

And now that we are well into the second trimester I am noticing it is yet very different from Lucy. All I remember with Lucy was being uncomfortable and hating being pregnant like... ALL THE TIME. This second Trimester has been pretty chill. My belly isn't as big as it was with Lucy so it's not as obtrusive quite yet and I can still rock the hair-tie-through-the-buttonhole trick on some of my non-maternity jeans, the sickness is over, and I feel pretty good.

But one thing has been the same... though I wish it weren't, alas it is: The Insomnia. 

Am I the only one who gets insomnia when pregnant?
According to lots of baby articles that I get to read at 3 in the morning, I am not... however "they" attribute it to things like: can't get comfortable, baby is kicking through the night, back hurting and so on...

None of that is my issue, and it wasn't the first time around either. I just don't sleep; not at night, not during the day, no matter how hard I try or how tranquil I make the setting... sleep evades me. 

This is, without a doubt, the WORST pregnancy symptom I have personally experienced.* 
The only thing I can compare it to is tearing down wallpaper. 
The two create very similar responses in my psyche. 

It is compounded by a husband who could literally fall asleep anywhere at any time in any circumstance with any ambiance 

Bless his heart as he offers to rub my back to help me sleep but falls asleep while doing it. It's the thought. 

Plus there is of course the wonderful video monitor where I get to watch my sweet girl zonked out for her precious 12 hours of sleep! 

You enjoy that, baby! Sleep for mama!!! S L E E E E E P for mama!

The first go around in the pregnancy dept. the insomnia was a real challenge primarily because I was teaching full time and then after wrangling high schoolers for 8+ hours I was also directing the play after school and all of this was on maybe 2 or 3 (if I was lucky) hours of sleep. 

IT. WAS. BRUTAL. 

One really can't hear enough of "Wow... you look tired" while walking through the hallways. 
Or when your students snap a picture for the yearbook of you sleeping on your desk during a free-period. 
Precious, those high schoolers, presh. 

This time around I should be thankful, truly! I'm not working full time and there is no school play! I mean I have a toddler that is up at 7:30 am whether I've slept or not and is wanting breakfast, Elmo, her boots on, her dolly's blanket, a snack, a book, a diaper change, to jump and dance with mommy and so on which can be a challenge when my eyes are barely open and refuse to focus. 

But Lucy has wonderful aunts and grandparents who are willing to take her so mommy can at least try and rest... though not sleep, just rest. And her daddy is a champ who helps mommy out a ton

granted... tired mommy is not happy mommy so... one does what one must to survive! ;) 

And I have no deadlines or ongoing commitments.... except to raise and train up this sweet little girl of mine... and my time of just her and I is down to only a few short months! cry face

ENTER MOMMY GUILT

Not sleeping all night leaves a mommy not at her best during the day... 

I'm sorry, baby, mommy can't pick you up and swing you. No sleep = no strength and you would definitely be dropped and probably get injured. 

I'm sorry, sweet girl, mommy can't even see the words on the page to read that book to you because everything is double right now. You read to mommy?

Sweet girl, mommy is sorry she just lost her cool with you just for being a toddler. Please forgive this sleep-deprived sinner! 

and so on! 

It's heartbreaking to lose precious moments because I'm too tired to savor them.
The days of just me and my sweet Lu are rapidly disappearing and insomnia is robbing me of them at an even faster rate! 

This is why, in my book, insomnia is the worst of all pregnancy symptoms!* 

So... half way through the pregnancy, and if this is anything like Lucy's eventually the insomnia will pass and I'll sleep again (until Baby-Boy comes) but for now I am trudging through the insomnia and thankful to the Good Lord for the nights that the stretch is 3 or 4 hours instead of 1 or 2. And, in the end, it's all worth it! 

EEEEEK Can't wait to meet our Baby Boy! 

I am sure there are other pregnant mamas suffering through the same agony.
I have no cure for you and no way to tell you to fix it. But here is how I (try to) cope. 

1. Pray. I try to spend at least some of the middle of the night awake time praying. One because it's quiet and uninterrupted time with the Lord. Two, sometimes praying makes you sleepier and you fall asleep. (Is that bad?) 

2. Read. I have a million books on my to-read list. Most of which I have started and never finished. What better time than the middle of the night!? 

3. Hot tea with honey - this always soothes me and is relaxing. Mommy's of toddlers need to enjoy those quiet moments, even if it is 2:00 am. (right?) 

4. Clean / do laundry / organize something etc. "They" say that doing mundane activities helps to tire you out and will help you get back to sleep. Sometimes that is true for me... not always, since being tired is not the issue. I'm usually very, very tired... just awake. But nothing beats having the laundry folded and put away before 7:00 am, right!? 

5. Blog. About insomnia, maybe. Why not? Some people do it. (me)

I know... that list is like worthless when you are ready to bang your head against the wall because you are so tired but your body refuses to sleep and benadryl or any similar item just makes you loopy... yet still awake. 

I.GET.IT. 

Solidarity, my friend! Feel free to get in touch with me at that ungodly hour if you need some encouragement! 

*Addition: I realize that there are many horrible and even life-threatening symptoms that can occur during pregnancy which would be considered far worse than some sleepless nights/weeks. So I humbly submit this as only the worst symptom that I have experienced personally! :)