Celebrating F I V E | The Anniversary Post

Sometimes I wish I could multi-task my blogging. I really love to do it; love to write and put my thoughts down on "paper". But... life is like insanely busy right now so currently I am sitting under a massive amount of tulle while I try and make a cat costume for Lucy for tomorrow night's Hershey Park in the Dark event. 

Nothing like the last minute, amiright?

So I was gonna turn on the TV and cut tulle - ya know, multi-task. But watching TV isn't something I wanted to actually do, writing on the blog was... and I can't type and cut tulle. Really, it's frustrating. 

But anyway... enough about that.

It was really important for me to write today because today is like totally a big deal.  

Today marks five years married to a man who is more and more impressive to me as the years go by. 

I admit I do feel a little uneasy writing a blog post on marriage. Even though it's just my own marriage I'm referring to and I am in no way presenting us as some pillar among marriages calling for others to replicate.  I often feel completely ridiculous if someone asks my input on marriage.  It feels foolish to sit here on my five year anniversary and tell you what I have learned, how we have grown... because it seems to imply that we've got it all figured out after five whole years. (spoiler alert: we don't!)  I had a former student a little over a year ago whose mom asked if I would share some thoughts on marriage and a challenge to her daughter at her bridal shower. I literally could have peed myself. 

What do I have to offer? I've only been married for a minute and really I've pretty much sucked at it for most of that minute! Shouldn't someone more qualified take that job!?

I'm pretty sure our wedding was like the absolutely funnest ever. Pretty sure. 

And that is kind of the feeling I have writing this on our five year wedding anniversary.  What is there to say that hasn't been said a thousand times prior? Ya know? 

So I am not going to offer up advice or tell you how to have the perfect marriage in five easy steps. I'm just gonna tell you a little bit about this man whom God gave to me and this marriage we have shared for five years. 

Fair enough? 
You're also gonna get bombarded with like lots of sappy photos of us. Cause we are lovey love birds, mm kay?
 
In five years of marriage I do honestly feel like I have learned a lot, I have grown a lot and I truly feel that I understand marriage better than I did 5 years ago. Which I guess would be the hope. Nobody but nobody has anything figured out at the very beginning of something.

 I remember before getting married I read like... a million books. I so wanted to do marriage right. I wanted to be the perfect wife. I wanted that perfect, God-honoring marriage and I knew one or all of these marriage books would make that happen! I would read them and just nod along all "Yes, totally. I will definitely do that. Piece of cake" and I would continue on to the next chapter. 

Every single one of those books that I read before marriage... I went back to re-read DURING marriage. Because ya just can't know until you are in it. Those words of advice and the scriptural support held so much more meaning, so much more power, and lead to so much humility and brokenness when I read them while experiencing all that they referred to. I remember one book: When Sinners say "I Do".  (Great book and study for engaged / married couples - highly recommend it!) There was one chapter in there where the author said something that stood out to me and I have held on to it ever since. 

Marriage is Sweetest when mercy increases. 

Mercy. Grace. Mercy. Grace. 
Words that hold so much meaning when we know Christ and the MERCY and GRACE he shows us in our ever undeserving state. And as marriage is a picture of Christ and the church one could only expect those words to be ever-so-true and necessary as well. The Lord has hit me between the eyes a million and one times urging me to show mercy, to show grace reminding me of my own sin, my own flaws and the ways my dear husband shows mercy and grace to me daily. (Oh my word he is so much better at it than me! Like SO MUCH!)  

That statement has been proven true in these five years. Marriage truly is sweetest when we choose mercy! 

Standing on this day and flipping through the past years in my mind with Greg... I am astounded at where we stand, and at who he is. He truly is such a good man. I trusted him on my wedding day, but over the years my trust and love for him has gone so much deeper as our relationship has truly been forged and continues to be so by the fires of life. Our true character - both the good and the bad - have been brought to the surface and revealed and when that is the case, trust is key! 

Doing life with someone else is just so neat! 

When I first started to entertain this idea that Greg could be "it" about 6 years back. I remember telling Gretchen:

One main reason I know I want to be with Greg is I trust him. I trust him in a way I've never trusted anyone. Of course we argue, of course we fight - but I trust his commitment to me and to the Lord and there isn't anyone else I'd want to go up against in a fight.

The point isn't meant to emphasize fighting! It is meant to emphasize the integrity of the man I chose to marry - I saw it then, and I still see it now. Greg is an incredibly honorable, trustworthy, faithful man. Perfect, no. But what I have seen in 5 years of marriage is a commitment to fight... for US. He fights for us daily and is passionate about it. That fight within him has come out in the lowest of moments leading to the sweetest of moments.

These five years have been filled with challenge and blessing: insecurity, confusion, church troubles, loss of friends, loss of family, battling hateful rumors, pregnancy, childbirth, child-training, moving, living with family, renovating a house, job changes, job searches, feelings of inadequacy, successes, failures, poor communication, plenty, want, fear, doubt and on and on. 

But these things, all of them, served and continue to serve their purpose - to pull Greg and I closer together as ONE in Christ. And to cause us to to fall on our knees before the Lord and seek HIM fully.  

Even though... those responses aren't always our FIRST. We're still learning... thus my whole "we don't have it figured out after 5 years, k?" ;)

Marriage is truly such a mystery. Such an incredible thing designed by God! Two people - who become ONE and are joined together by their creator. A relationship that is meant to teach us, transform us, point out our sin and lead us to repentance. 

So all of that to say - It has been five years filled with so much and I am so thankful to have walked every road I have walked within that time with Greg. He is a man who loves the Lord, loves his family, who is incredibly loyal and faithful. He fights for truth and stands for the weak. He serves and gives until he bleeds. He is funny and adventurous. He is one of the most animated story-tellers I have ever known and can get a group laughing better than most. He loves fiercely - both his wife and his daughter. He is gentle, he is sensitive and he is sincere. I'm honored to have made that commitment to him five years ago today. And I am honored and privileged to be by his side now. 

“Within this Christian vision of marriage, here's what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, "I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, 'I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!” 
― Timothy Keller