Temper Tantrums

Lucy has this new trick - it's impressive, really: 

She doesn't get what she wants, so she arches her back, screams, cries, and physically flails. Or she raises her hands up and slams them to the ground. She kind of does this wave sound with her voice too... like a mix of a cry, a whine and a pout. 

Awesome
She said sarcastically

For what reasons does my sweet little girl throw a temper tantrum? 
Well... recently it was because the cat pooped in front of her and I wouldn't let her touch it. 
(the poop, not the cat)

my animal-lover

That's right folks, my child kicked, screamed, cried and pouted because she wasn't allowed to touch the newly-laid, still-warm, smelly, slimy, steaming cat poop that was left in front of her by the feline that she loves. 

It's not restricted to just poop though. She will drop to the floor and express her dissatisfaction for just about anything that doesn't align with her wants that very moment.

I've seen this poor behavior somewhere.... 

ah yes, now I remember.

ME!

There's video (yes ,video. Thanks mom and dad) of me in Disney world when I was a wee little kid doing the same thing Lucy is doing. Throwing an all-out FIT because I didn't get something I wanted. While it probably wasn't cat poop I am sure it was just as ridiculous and unnecessary. I am also sure my parents had good reason for denying it to me. But there I sat, none-the-less, in all my pride and anger wailing due to not getting my own way. 

But I became an adult and behavior like that is definitely less acceptable in adulthood. But while the action of the behavior is not visible in this adult, the heart of it is still present. That same sin of pride and anger stirs within me just as it did then. 

 It is the unfortunate familiarity of this sin of pride and selfishness that breaks my heart as I see it manifest in my daughter.  And I am reminded:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  -Romans 3:23

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. 

Who can know it?  -Jeremiah 17:9

Wanting our own way is a trait we are born with!

These verses tell me that I was a sinner then, I am a sinner now and so is Lucy. 

The parallel of God as my father and me as his sinful child is humbling. My adult-form temper tantrums tend to swell when I don't get something I want or something in life isn't going my way. 

Current example: We would like to buy a house but we can't find one! The pouting is real, folks... no kicking and screaming as of yet though. 

There are so many times in life that I want to cry and scream and make it go my way. (sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally) But if I do, I show, firstly, my immaturity and me forgetfulness of WHO my Father is and WHY he allows or doesn't allow things in my life. And secondly I invite the rebuke of my Father.

The truth is... if when I kicked and screamed and yelled I did get what I wanted, you know I'd keep it up. Same with sweet Lucy - if she kicks and screams to get her way and then she gets it... you can be sure she'll be continuing that tactic!

As I discipline Lucy's behavior in order to teach her to respond BETTER and submit her will to the authority God put before her (her parents) so God will do with me. He convicts my behavior in His word. His spirit speaks truth to me as I whine in my own spirit. He rebukes me. And is my Father going to reward my poor behavior?

No. 

Just as Lucy's behavior would not get rewarded. She must change her attitude. She must change her behavior. She must submit to her parent's will. 

As must I. 

Getting some needed comfort from daddy during a moment of not getting her way.

And HOW FITTING is the parallel between a temper tantrum over POOP and adult-like temper tantrums! I know I have kicked and screamed to God wanting him to give me things in my past that (in my stupidity) seemed GREAT... but he denied them to me! Hindsight shows me he took away what needed taking away and he kept me from what would have been destructive. 

God is Sovereign. 
I am not. 
(I need this sticky-noted to every surface that surrounds me!)

There may be a time in the future that I will need to allow Lucy to indulge in what she is fighting so hard for - she may need to stick her little hand right into that pile of poop and feel the consequences of that choice. (The germaphobe husband of mine would NEVER allow such a lesson. NEVER) Is this not how God deals with us? He disciplines us in love. He rebukes and corrects us in love. But sometimes... he leaves us to our poor decisions and we are also left with the consequences. 

God disciplines those he loves. The goal is always redemption. 
The goal is always repentance. 

And so with Lucy.

My desire and goal is that Lucy would learn to say "no" to her own will and yes to mine so that in her adulthood she would avoid the battle and consequences of disobedience by being ready to again say "no" to her own will and say "YES" to God's will. 

This is something that you may hear my echo over and over because it is something that as  a parent resonates so deeply with me! 

Full discolure...
Because I, in all my adultness, struggle to say "no" to my will and "yes" to God's. 

It's a slow process of consistency and discernment. I am just at the beginning and know it is a long road ahead. (What PATIENCE our God has!!!)  But I'm wanting so badly to be sure to train and teach her well and prepare her so that, as the Bible promises, [she] may not depart from it."

Only by God's grace working through me, for sure! 

A sinner teaching a fellow sinner... talk about humbling! 

My friend Gretchen and I read a PHENOMENAL book that has been so helpful in walking this road:

I HIGHLY recommend it for any parent: seasoned or brand new! You can find it on amazon. (no one pays me for promoting it, I promise. It's really just super good!)

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6

And despite our nature of sin there is HOPE

"For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, 

so by the obedience of One shall many be made righteous"

Romans 5:19